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Sunday, November 14, 2004
Sunday
Mood:
 d'oh
Well, so much for me writing in this blog everyday. Good grief!
It has been pretty busy around here. Mom got out of the hospital today and she seems to be better, but is still down emotionally. She won't take her prescription anti depressants and I am not sure why. I helped Dad out again today and I need to make sure I go by there everyday to see if I can do anything to help them. I just have to figure out where to add that to my day.
I am feeling fairly well. I have increased my dosage of medication and I think it might be starting to work. I still wake up with the feeling of dread and doom, but I can shake it by mid morning. My panic attacks have slowed down, but the anxiety is still there.
I have so much I want to do around the house. Improvement stuff. I just need to try to find some time. I am not very good at balancing everything that needs to be done.
I have an appointment with a counselor this week. I am a bit nervous. I am not sure about her. We will see how it goes.
I am so relieved that Mom is out of the hospital and they didn't find anything major wrong with her. I need to dedicate more time to stopping by and helping them out when I can.
That's about it for now!
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Veteran's Day
Mood:
 sad
Today is Veteran's Day. A day for all of us to remember those who are fighting and have fought for this country. I feel so bad for all the men and women in Iraq right now. I cannot imagine fighting in a war that you think is pointless. They really are very brave and very courageous. I only pray that they come home soon!
Mom is still in the hospital. They are going to keep her there for awhile. I am trying to help Dad out as much as I can. I didn't take Justin to school yesterday. He didn't wake up until 10:00 and then I just didn't have my act together to get him there. I figured that only going for an hour and a half wasn't worth it anyway. Hopefully, we all will get our acts together and he will go tomorrow.
I have an appointment with a counselor next week. I also need to call the county back..they called with a referral for me as well.
Well, I guess I better get my day going.
Tuesday, November 9, 2004
Here I Am Again!
Well, here I am again. Unable to sleep. I have read, watched TV, played around on the computer and I still don't feel sleepy. I ended up taking a sleeping pill which I hate to do, but I have to get some rest!
My mom got put in the hospital today. She has been sick for about 2 weeks so the doctors admitted her. I think she has major anxiety problems to and always has. She always thinks her cancer is back and then run test after test and everything is fine. They just did a scan on her a couple of months ago and everything was okay. Now, they are doing more tests. I am confident they will find nothing, which makes me relieved, but I hate the fact that my mom and Dad have to go through this.
I have a pretty busy morning tomorrow. I hope I can get more done in the office. My to do list seems to be falling apart. The phones were really busy today with wreath orders.
Well, let's hope that sleep comes soon!
Monday, November 8, 2004
Evening time!
Mood:
 chillin'
I fixed a quick dinner of shrimp and rice. It was pretty yummy, if I do say so myself. I am feeling pretty good, but evenings are usually my best time of the day. Justin ate a good dinner and he is watching Spongebob in his room. Jeff is watching the Food Network and there is some yummy show on about desserts. YUM!
I have a busy day tomorrow. I didn't get all of my to do list done today, but I will try harder tomorrow. I did get a couple of things done, so that was good.
That's about it for now!
Afternoon
Mood:
 not sure
It is afternoon and I just got back from picking up Justin. Sharon and I decided to stop and have lunch so we chose a Mexican restaurant. It was very good, but now I am very full and don't want to do anything. I have my to do list and am marking things off as I go.
My anxiety is back this afternoon. I feel so shaky and anxious. I wish I could pin point reasons for this, but it just happens. I don't think I have noticed a change with the new medication except that it is helping me sleep better. That, alone, is a good sign. I just want to feel normal again. I can't remember when I felt normal.
Justin is eating a Kit Kat. He had a really good lunch and I let him have some of his Halloween candy. I have to try to get him down for a nap and then I need to go in the office and tackle my list again. I also need to do invoices and go to the bank later this afternoon.
I also need to clean up this house. It is such a pit lately. I just need to start picking up toys and boxes and get some organization here. Sigh. Everything is such a huge monumental task for me.
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